what's funnier than hell? heaven

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A man walks into a doctors office. The doctor says "I've got good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?" The man responds "I'd like to hear the good news." The doctor says "I ran a series of tests and found you have leukemia, but your insurance cocvered everything." The man hangs his head and tears up as he asks "What's the bad news?" The doctor heads for the door as he answers "Your company is switching to a private insurer and because of your pre-existing condition you're being deined coverage. None of your future treatments or appointments will be covered." The man snaps his fingers and says "Damn! I should've voted Democrat!"

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A man on a plane convened his stupid flyer that instead of who in knock-knock jokes it what were, he thought it would funny. Later it really paid off, as they fly very close over water he says "knock knock" "whose there" " Captain Neverlands" "Captain Neverlands wh-...were" "Captain Neverlands IN WATER YOU DUMMY!!!!"

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Two chavs jump off a cliff, who wins? Neither. Leaving aside the fact that two people would jump off a cliff in any kind of competitive context is highly improbable, due to the laws of physics objects fall at the same speed and therefore both people would hit the ground at the same time, meaning that, unless either of them deployed a parachute mid way through, they would, in fact, be in a dead heat.

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why do people copy other people's anti-jokes? because they don't have a life nor an imagination. P.S. if this gets a lot of thumbs ups, expect another one soon from one of those people who copy others anti-jokes...

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How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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Wanna hear a joke? YEAH! Hold on. Okay, tell me when to let go.

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a hobo begs and begs for a dollar to buy something. a man finally gives him a dollar. what does the hobo buy? nothing. he walked into 711 and got shot.

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What's one thing that bothers EVERYONE? Mother Theresa

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Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

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What did the fat girl say to the good looking guy? Nothing. She didn't have the self-confidence to go up to him.

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*knock knock* i have diarrhea

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Your neighbor. Ok, Come in.

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What's frozen and eaten off a stick? Your dead uncle Norman

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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What did the boy say when he got hit by a car? Nothing, he punctured his lungs.

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What's worse than reading a bad joke Realizing it's yours.

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You suck big fat slobber

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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what do you call a guy that looks exactly like Mario. Frank because thats his name.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 brutally murdered 6's entire family.

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Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

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AIDS.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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