Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one.

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Why did the doctor commit suicide? His wife was recently killed in a car accident and simply could not take the emotional pain!

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How do you help a chronic drug addict? Buy him or her more drugs. They NEED it.

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Roses are red Violets are blue we're going to have sex because i'm stronger than you

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Q; Why did the gas station attendant scream when 3 black men walked into his store? A: It was his surprise birthday party.

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How many babies does it take to paint a house? Depends how you throw 'em.

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Jesus can walko water Humans are 70% water I can walk on humans Therefore i am 70% Jesus

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Very, very hungry.

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What did the woman find when she got home from the post office? Her son's corpse hanging from a clothes hanger. She was an abusive mom, and he killed himself.

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I never knew I was dyslexic. Then one day I showed up to a toga party dressed as a goat.

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What is life? It is a sexually transmitted disease which always ends in death. There is currently no known cure.

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There's a redhead, a brunette and a woman with green hair walking down the street. A man asks them how they all came to have such beautiful and vibrant hair color. The redhead smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The brunette smiles, runs a hand through her hair and replies "It's natural!" The woman with green hair blows her nose, and replies "It isn't natural, I'm rebelling against society's conformist ideals. Also I was not loved enough as a child." She has a cold.

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What's the difference between Nelly and Common? One of them is an artist and one of them is a businessman.

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Q: What's blue and smells like baby. A: A choking baby.

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Q: How did the Irishman die? A: He was old.

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Why do beavers have flat tails? They don't know but their relatives certainly get upset

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An Admiral walks into Ackbar...

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What's worse than stepping on legos? Massive genocide

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Knock Knock Who's There? The police- we are sorry to inform you that your wife and only child was killed in a brutal car accident earlier this evening, We offer our condolences.

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how did the girl with a hook-hand do her hair? She didn't

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? No. You don't need to, it's quite inappropriate.

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https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCM8MQg1bn9y38H8Irhuxx-g

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Yo mamas so poor, she should probably find a source of consistent payment to support herself.

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What's worse than a duck with one leg? A nuclear explosion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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