What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

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"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

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Continents are large islands.

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woman..parallel parking

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

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What do you say to a girl with two black eyes? Nothing you've already told her twice.

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whats the difference between Obama and Romney answer: one would have been a good president instead of a communist

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Guess Penn State Is Holding Jerry Sandusky Day this Saturday against Nebraska. All Kids 10 and Under get in Free...

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How can you make a little boy tell the truth? Threaten to murder his family.

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Not having an apple

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Why did the little boy fall off the swing? I throw a refrigerator at him.

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What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

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KNOCK KNOCK who's there? OUCH! what's your door knob made of? nails?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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