Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. Traffic was too backed-up so the chicken took a different route.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I don't have ADHD I just- Hey look a squirrel!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why was Lucy fat? Her BMI was over the recommended average.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Whats black and hangs from trees in my backyard? blackberries..

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

what did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish

thumb_up thumb_down +15

When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What the hell are you doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than going in the wrong direkshun? ...My spelling

thumb_up thumb_down +15

why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops