Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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I Have a Black Friend

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You have now entered Automatic Breathing Mode

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why did the mexican cross the road? to get to the lawn mowing shop becuase his wife has breast cancer, and he cant pay the bills sitting on his butt and getting a check from the government every month

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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What starts with an 's' and ends with a 'hit'? Shortly after the war, 4 men went to celebrate at the local bar. They all had a grand time there, when a man in black walked into the bar. The man in black knocks once on the bar. "What do you want?" asked the bartender. The man in black didn't respond. This time, the bartender asked again, only louder. The man in black then turned to his right to face the 4 other men celebrating. The man in black then suddenly pulled out a pistol, and shot the 4th man. He then burst into a sprint and ran out of the bar. "He's hit," the 3rd man shouted, "he's hit!"

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Roses are red violets are blue, he is for me and not for you, he's too ugly you can have him

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What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

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What does a horse and a donkey have in common? They are both very different from trees

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whats yellow? lots of things.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

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As far as I know, the day after tomorrow is going to be YOUR lucky day, because you will be tasting sausage for the first time with your lower lips... No seriously, you cant be virgin, you can tell me the truth, you like 24 or something?

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I`m not as random as you think i`m salad.

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A buddhist,islamist and a prohibitionist walk into a bar.

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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A guy was beet by his wife.

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What do you call a building full of black people Jail

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What's funnier than a dead baby? Almost everything. Infant mortality rates are incrediby high in many third world countries, and it is certainly no laughing matter.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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Doctor Doctor i've got wind can you give me something? Thats not wind the doctor replies thats a rare form of stomach cancer.

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Q. what's red and smells like blue paint A. a dead baby in a trash can beside a foster home

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What is the difference between a rabbit and a plum? A: They are both purple, except for the rabbit!

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What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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