Hey, did u know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans By: Trey & Trenton of Texas

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the most common way to become mentally challenged? Getting hit by a shovel a couple times

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the Police Officer do after he made a positive identification of a Prostitute? He proceeded to pay her in cash for sexual favors because prostitution is legal in the state of Nevada

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What did the banana say to the apple? Nothing, although on a deoxyribonucleic acid level, bananas are technically sharing 50% of their genes with us, humans, but yet still have the incapability to produce its own voice. In addition, apple can't talk either due to their lack of nerves, veins, arteries, and diaphragm, therefore bananas not apple cannot produce sound.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are red, my name is not Dave, this poem makes no sense, microwave.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's brown and sticky? Feces.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the black homeowner default on his house? He was paying significantly more in mortgage than the actual market value of the home, since he purchased his property before the housing bubble. He carried out a cost/benefit analysis and derived the conclusion that he was effectively destroying his own wealth by paying his mortgage bills.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's long, hard, and black, and goes into wet things? A submarine.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's the difference between jokes and anti-jokes? Anti-jokes aren't funny.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you piss off a teacher? Accuse them of being a pedophile

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

-Bumper Sticker- Honk if you love Jesus. (Text while driving if you want to meet him)

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A horse walks into a bar and begins to moo. Everyone is confused until it takes off its costume and reveals it's just a cow.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why did the ginger cross the road? To tell the police that her family had been taken hostage.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

thumb_up thumb_down +17

- How breakdance was invented? - A certain black man was trying to stole rims from moving car.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Knock knock Who's there? Prosti Prosti who? Prostitute

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What's black, white and red all over? Half a penguin.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A black guy walks into a KKK meeting. He is burnt on a cross outside his families house. They will mourn his death for years to come

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A pirate walks into a doctors office with ship's wheel attached to his crotch. Pirate: "Arrrrrr, do ya accept Kaiser Permanente?" Doctor: "Yes, but there's a $20 co-pay."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How do you get a bunch of Jews in a car? You tell this family who happens to be of Jewish faith that they are going to be late for the birth of another family member's child. How do you get them out? Tell the mother had a miscarriage. This will make them promptly want to leave the care and grieve with the other family members for the lost child.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops