What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

ur mum

thumb_up thumb_down +2

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?... CAUSE HE FELT LIKE IT, IDIOT

thumb_up thumb_down +2

When is it okay for priests to touch underage boys? Ash Wednesday, they have place ash using their hands on the boys foreheads.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the kid with all F's on his report card get? Beat by his parents

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A teacher tells one of her students, "If I say 'I am beautiful', which tense is that?" The student tells her, "Didn't your mother ever tell you that lying is bad?"

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Nowadays, aviation is the most secure means of conveyance in the world, but paragliding is not.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Q: What would happen if you didn't sleep all night? A: You would probably be really tired and start seeing things and speaking strange sentences as a result.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

my uncle used to tickle me.. he's in prison for child abuse

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

just a man and his thoughts....and a smart phone app, and a loving family, thats not the point.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't lay eggs? A male dinosaur

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do a vampire and a ginger have in common they're both afraid of the sunligh- oh wait this anti jokes ohhhhhhh oh well

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

thumb_up thumb_down +2

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops