What do a software designer, a civil engineer, an airline pilot, and a long-distance swimmer's support team have in common? All of them use angles and trigonometric ratios to help solve problems.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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What did one muslim say to the other muslim? Nothing, muslims are inanimate objects and can therefore not speak.

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What do a black man and an elephant have in common? They are both multi-cellular organisms, they both belong to the kingdom Animalia, the phylum Chordata, and the class Mammalia, they both possess vertebrae, they both move through legged locomotion, they both possess knee joints and they both possess the capacity for altruistic behavior.

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When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

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A Polish man walks into a bar and says, "Co za asy..."

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A drunk guy walks out of an AA meeting.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Hey babe, did it hurt when the doctor cut off your umbilical cord when your mother gave birth to you. Because I have a bellybutton too!

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Why did the boy with cancer cross the road? He was hoping to get hit by a truck.

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roses are red viloits are blue Bernard is hot but then i led to you

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What's worse than going in the wrong direkshun? ...My spelling

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Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

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What the hell are you doing?

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a man made a beautiful colorful picture and hit print. the printer then grew a mind of its own and did the most horriffic and evil thing ever; he printed it in black and white.

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what do you call 10 mexicans standing in a line? It's probably a lunch line for a taco vendor. And even this is just a coincidence. Everybody loves tacos.

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What does the redhead miss most at a party? Her father. He was in a car accident when she was young.

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How do you stop a bus? You try to wave down the bus driver, they're usually nice people who will stop for you if you put in some effort and act appreciative.

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Yo mama so fat, her wand is a Slim Jim

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why did the packers win the superbowl? because they were very good

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Why couldn't the man stop dancing? Because he had Parkinson's.

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why did the chicken cross the road? because it was diagnosed with cancer and didn't want to live any more

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How many Mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? None, for the task at hand is so simple, you should do it.

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Why did the cat die? To get to the other side

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops