Why did the black surgeon get fired? The hospital was low on funds due to the economic crisis, and had to let a few employees go.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and a dead bag of babies. -there's not a Corvette in my garage

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Am I a cat? No, I am a human; cat's cannot type.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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What's red, hairy, and squishy? Helen Keller in a blender.

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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A boy walks into a bar. Because he was under-age, security kicked him out as soon as possible and alerted his parents.

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You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

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EAT YOUR DINNER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

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What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket. What's blue and looks like a bucket? A red bucket in disguise.

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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What is the difference between me and you? I am not readin this joke.

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Scientific fact: If you took all the veins from your body and laid them end to end, you would die.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Once upon a time, A lonely man was living in the woods. He died of exhaustion, dehydration, starvation, and bacterial infection. The end. Once upon a time, Another lonely man was living in the woods. He built a house, made a well, made a farm, got married, had kids, and had a wonderful life. The end.

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will both fall over after being hit multiple times with an ax.

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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