cats, swimming, northpole ,sky, park , tree , bench, anti joke. shut up you have a skin disease!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How I seem math word problems Scenario: 2 astronauts kayaking in the Sahara desert Question: How many pancakes does it take to shingle a doghouse Answer: Purple, because ice cream has no bones

thumb_up thumb_down +14

roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

thumb_up thumb_down +14

balls

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Sally went to an R-Kelly concert what happend when she came out? No one because R-Kelly peed on sally and cops came in.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

It was at the war and there was a camp site where a doctors helped injured soldiers. One soldier comes in the door and holds his arm. The doctor says "You got shot in the arm?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and holding his shoulder. The doctor says "You got shot in the shoulder?" He says yes. Then another soldier walks in the door and was dragging his left leg across the floor. The doctor says "You got shot in your leg?" The soldier says "No, I stepped on dog shhhttt."

thumb_up thumb_down +14

That awkward momment when there is no Candy in the Van... <3

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Four guys are on an airplane. The plane lands safely and the four guys return to their families.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A bear woke up from his annual hibernation to find that his stomach is growling. "I sure am hungry." the sleepy bear said. So he found some berries, but spit them out. "These berries are far too bitter." the playful bear said. He then found some honey, however was soon bombarded with a swarm of bees. "That honey is good, but not that good." the jolly bear said. He then stumbled upon a cabin. "I wonder if there is any food in here..." the curteous bear wondered. The events that followed are now reffered to by the locals as the May 20th Massacre. While no witnesses survived, the police reports depict that the Martinez family, a young family of 7 enjoying their memorial day weekend in their New Hampshire cabin, was brutally slain by a blood-thirsty animal who tracked each of them throughout the house in a period of approximately 45 minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

what do u call blue fluff? blue fluff

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A man walks into a bar, ouch!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

An epileptic man attends a rave.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

whats worse than 10 babies in a blender 1 baby in 10 blenders

thumb_up thumb_down +14

How did the Muslim girl get pregnant? She was brutally raped on the streets of Baghdad.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was Little Billy crying? He had cancer. Why was Little Sally crying? Little Billy's cancer was contagious.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What did the giraffe say to the human? Nothing, but it was trying to alert the human of an oncoming bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

What`s that CREAM that comes out of you when your mom puts a WHIP on you with a switch? WHIP CREAM!

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was the little boy sad? Because his dog died

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was John Elway.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why does the St. Johns River flow north? Because Georgia Sucks.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

A black man is like a sledge hammer; if you compare him to a sledge hammer, he will hit you with a sledge hammer.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

thumb_up thumb_down +14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops