Why did the chicken cross the road? This website is terrible. Are you servers from 1990? I hope you all get cancer.

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I think everybody should have a penis. Does that make me a bad feminist?

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What's another name for asexual reproduction? Parthenogenesis.

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You all have Aids

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A Muslim, a Buddhist, and a Christian are on a plain. They have to jump off for some reason. The Muslim straps a bomb to his chest, jumps out of the plain, and screams "AHLA AKBAH"!!!! The Buddhist jumps out and says save me heavenly Buddha. A giant golden hand catches him and lightly places him on land. The Christian says "aw hell with this" and jumps out, then says "save me heavenly Buddha". The giant golden hand places him down gently on land. The Christian then says "thank god". The giant golden hand comes back down and kills him.

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An old jew, an irish man, and a young mexican woman in her mid 20's are on an island. They eventually become hungry to a extremely ravishing extent. The jew cries out: "I can't take the thought of consuming man, because I am only allowed to consume kosher" The Mexican says: "Alright" The Irishman says: "O.K. Until then lets head over to Timilio's... I hear they are a fine establishment and also serve Kosher meals."

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whats the difference between a mexican and a bench? a beanch can support a family

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oh hai

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Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

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Why is a frog green? Because it was born that way

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I tried frying some fish today, and it started sizzling at me. I took it as a direct threat and started yelling at the stove. Eventually it stopped and dinner was ruined, but I was proud of myself for winning.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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I scream, You scream, The police come, It's awkward.

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What is red and green and goes round and round? A frog in a blender!

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one man walked into a bar and ordered a beer. when he was drinking the beer he choked and died

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Why did the corpse come to life? Because number 5 is alive!

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whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew?... Never mind, that was a stupid question.

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What did Christopher Columbus say to his men before they got on the ship? Get on the ship.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs? Unfortunate

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why doesn't the werewolf like Ferrari's a werewolf being a mythical creature would most likely not have a preference as to what kind of car he drives because he would not exist

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Why does a man have a closet full of fruits? Because he has a mental illness and there is nothing to laugh about.

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I live in a very rural area, so it's not easy to just go to the store and pick something up. I try to find out how to do things with the stuff I have on hand, so I Googled spot remover, but there are only pictures of stain cleaners. Please help. Spot has rabies.

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In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

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Why did Jerry Sandusky appeal his conviction? Because the judge wrongly considered inadmissible evidence.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops