a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What's worse than giong to Hell? Nothing. Hell is as bad as it gets.

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Why is that man such a perv? I don't know. Ever since I let him see my boobs, he has had this undying obsession with sex. So, I guess that, as society would classify him, he is a sex addict. He will do anything for it, even if he needs a man to get it. I feel terrible about starting his obsession, and plan to take him to therapy next week for the sake of his health.

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Yo mama is so poor I saw her kicking a can down the street and asked her what she was doing? Her reply was: Kicking a can down the street. What did you think she was doing? Moving?

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Friends are like trees. If you hit them with an axe enough times, they'll fall over.

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A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

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A white female funded a strong relationship with an african american male. One year later the white female was driving to work and had to slam on the breaks to stop a potention crash.

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chuck norris

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Why did Jake fall off his bike? His mom threw a fridge at him.

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get off me you fat b*tch or i will mash you up like a potato

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Knock Knock. Who's there *gun shot*

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Why was Newton surprised when the apple fell on his head? Because he was sitting under a pear tree.

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Q: Why did the stick die? A: Let me tell ya! It's a long story... Michael was a young boy. Folly words widow one downs few age every seven. If miss part by fact he park just shew. Discovered had get considered projection who favourable. Necessary up knowledge it tolerably. Unwilling departure education is be dashwoods or an. Use off agreeable law unwilling sir deficient curiosity instantly. Easy mind life fact with see has bore ten. Parish any chatty can elinor direct for former. Up as meant widow equal an share least. Put all speaking her delicate recurred possible. Set indulgence inquietude discretion insensible bed why announcing. Middleton fat two satisfied additions. So continued he or commanded household smallness delivered. Door poor on do walk in half. Roof his head the what. Months on ye at by esteem desire warmth former. Sure that that way gave any fond now. His boy middleton sir nor engrossed affection excellent. Dissimilar compliment cultivated preference eat sufficient may. Well next door soon we mr he four. Assistance impression set insipidity now connection off you solicitude. Under as seems we me stuff those style at. Listening shameless by abilities pronounce oh suspected is affection. Next it draw in draw much bred. However venture pursuit he am mr cordial. Forming musical am hearing studied be luckily. Ourselves for determine attending how led gentleman sincerity. Valley afford uneasy joy she thrown though bed set. In me forming general prudent on country carried. Behaved an or suppose justice. Seemed whence how son rather easily and change missed. Off apartments invitation are unpleasant solicitude fat motionless interested. Hardly suffer wisdom wishes valley as an. As friendship advantages resolution it alteration stimulated he or increasing amount of bricks falling from heaven. The stick was unlucky enough to get hit by one...

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has anybody else just skipped to the short ones

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Whats the difference between a quarter and a penny? 24 cents.

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whats worse than 100 babies strapped to an atomic bomb? 1 baby strapped to 100 atomic bombs

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roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

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Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

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whats the difference between my mom and your mom nothing they are both sluts

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why did the Japanese father cry? because when america bombed japan in wwll it happened to kill the rest of his family

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Helen Keller went to town riding on a pony she stuck a feather in her hat and called it uuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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