Why didn't the Mexican go to college? He was caught smuggling drugs over the border and was shot.

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brittney griner

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Q : What did the construction worker get for christmas? A: Nothing a building fell on him 3 days earlier

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A Duck walks into a bar.

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Whats white? A fridge

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Dead on Aodhan your breaking te ten commandments by lying you jew you dont believe in the divinity of Christ.

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I think everybody ought to have a penis.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's DEAD!

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What Batman said to Robin before they got in the car? -Get in the car Robin!

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What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

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Did you hear about the kid-napping in Minnesota? He woke up

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A mother took her little boy to church. While in church the little boy said, "Mommy, I have to pee." The mother said to the little boy, "It's not appropriate to say the word 'pee' in church. So, from now on whenever you have to 'pee' just tell me that you have to 'whisper.'" Then the mother, realizing how her son could later become confused, clarified. She said, "You can say you have to pee as long as you say it in a quiet voice." The boy understood. There were no problems afterwards.

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What is a dead cat on the side of the road. A free cat.

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What is the difference between a dolphin and a ghost? A dolphin is not a ghost

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Your mom is so fat she could consider going on biggest loser, where she might be able to make a lot of money.

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Why couldnt the woman wear her new necklace? She was decapitated

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Why didn't bob like night clubs? He was epileptic

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What did Mitch say to joe when he saw his fly was down? Nothing because he's a bagle

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What do you call two gay black men in one sleeping bag? There names

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What did the bar say to the man? Nothing, bars can't talk

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why didnt the girl laugh at the joke? because it wasnt funny

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there was a turkey sandwhich..... a ham sandwhich.... and a bologna sandwhich..... they had a short conversation before they were eatin by a fat kid

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A terrorist gets on a plane. He has a pleasant flight and gets off in a new country.

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Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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