What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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I Have a Black Friend

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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What did the jacket say to the girl? Zip me up wait why am I talking

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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knock knok whos there? Jacob Jacob who? U know, your friend!

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one is ever going to be there for you. Also, you're adopted.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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Why did the women cross the road? I dont know.. why? no clue.. why was she out of the kitchen

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Q. have you seen Helen Keller house A. niether has she

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What do you call an animal that is blue, fluffy and lives in the arctic? I don't know and that's why I'm asking you.

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What's worse than a dead baby inside a microwave? A microwave inside a dead baby.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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