What did Hitler get for Christmas? Some shoelaces for his shoes so he could tie his little knotsies.

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A girl and a boy where sitting on a couch together. The boy told the girl politly that she hass gained a significant amount of weight and should lose it. She then pulled out a candy bar in her back pocket and shoved it down his throat, to which he suffocated, because she was on her period when to comment was made.

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How do prevent a nun from walking through a revolving door? Put a spear through her head.

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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a black guy, mexican guy, and asian guy race to hop over a window. Who was the LAST one to hop it? the mexican because he had to clean it first.

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?J?o?k?e?

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Roses are red Violets are blue The last time I saw your mom I made you

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Mama Bear and Papa Bear were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Bear a choice of which parent to live with. "Do you want to live with your mother?" the judge asks. "No! She beats me." answers the baby bear. "OK, then you can live with your father." says the judge. "No! He beats me too!" cries baby bear. So Baby Bear was placed in a foster home.

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You see that dog over there with no tail? You know what that means, don't you? What? Someone cut it off.

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What do polar bears have that no other animal has? Polar bear babies.

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A blonde and a brunette are walking down a street. What a great way to parade and recognise the various colours that lie upon ones head.

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A lion and a cheetah raced each other and the cheetah won Lion: "man you're a cheetah!" Cheetah: "no you're lion!" Then the cheetah tears off the lions head and feeds it to their babies

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Why did the little boy fall down the steps? Because he wasn't a very stable person.

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What did the orphan do on his birthday? He burned down his orphanage, he hated the place because he was severly abused.

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what's black and can't swim?

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What do black people do with M&Ms? They eat them.

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A Haiku It Is This One Is Kind Of Boring Now It's Time For Bed

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What do you get when you cross a hooker with five shots of tequila? Herpes

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I just threw up..In my pants.

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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leon harney ya pikey

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Q: What do you call it when you get shot in the face 20 times with a shotgun? A:Nothing, you're dead. Q:What do we call it when you get shot 20 times with a shotgun? A: A blessing.

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Why did the sperm cross the road? It didn't, as sperm cells have tails not legs, and are therefore incapable of crossing roads.

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American: Hi im American Hispanic: Oh hey

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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