I know where you live. No seriously im looking at you through your window. 80% of you just checked. 90% of you didnt realize i just ended that statement with a question mark. 100% of you just checked gotcha

thumb_up thumb_down +19

How do you kill a blonde? There are countless ways to complete such a task all of which have infinite variations.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A guy is at a party and he's really thirsty, so he goes to get a drink. He goes to get some soda, but the line is too long. He goes to get some water, but the line is also too long. He goes to get some punch, and it turns out there's no punch line.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline. Notice how Anti-Joke MISSPELLED "user", writing "uses" instead. Probably most of you didn't notice until I posted this :)

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

thumb_up thumb_down +19

A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

thumb_up thumb_down +19

are you from hawaii? because your the only ten I see

thumb_up thumb_down +19

Whats the difference between a pizza and a Jew? Jews are people

thumb_up thumb_down +19

hey! Wanna hear a bird joke? No. Well this is Hawkward....

thumb_up thumb_down +19

What did the martian say to the other martian when he saw a fire hydrant? "Hey look, I found a fire hydrant!"

thumb_up thumb_down +17

children of those parents which re childless, often are childless too...

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two black guys walk into a bar. The bartender says "what are you doing here" and the black guys say "to get a drink"....

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How can you help Sally who is casually gets beaten by her farther every day? Just give £3 a month to the NSPCC

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is Hitler's favourite Yu-Gi-Oh card? Blue Eyes, White Dragon.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

A man begged for forgiveness, for a sin commited Jesus forgave him, Jesus loves you

thumb_up thumb_down +17

ok

thumb_up thumb_down +17

How did the dead baby cross the road? It was stapled to the leg of a chicken.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Why couldn't the asian man drive? He had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are blu Violets are red Im colored blind

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Roses are Purple Chickens are gray I'm color blind You have cancer I'll see you in hell Ba bye now

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Two muffins are being baked in an oven. One muffin says to the other muffin "Boy, it sure is getting hot in here," and the other muffin replies "yeah, that's because it's an oven."

thumb_up thumb_down +17

You know whats worse than an anti-joke? Practically Anything.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

thumb_up thumb_down +17

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops