Why was six afraid of seven? Seven was a rapist

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walk to the store and buys some clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Two muffins are sitting in an oven, they get burned because the oven was left on for to long and they end up being thrown away.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you say to an over weight Jewish mother? "Work on those crunches" He was her coach.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the 11 year old boy stick his hand in a lawnmower nobody knows he hasnt come out of the coma yet

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Well... At that time everyone expected that the only people that knew hypnosis where either "born with the gift from the stars" or was some old beard man that spent "hundreds of years in the mountains".or a wizard or a shamanic priest, or well some guy in a particular stupid suit of sorts, it increased its potency simple as that, as having people stare at me and laugh because "You are not some beardy guru master" is a pretty bad start for the effective use of mass hypnosis. Mono-ideoism actually just means really concentrated focus on a single object or state of mind, the thing about the name (aside from sounding kinda mono-idiotic) is that strong focus alone does NOT lead to a state of relaxation which is one of the prime requirements to achieve a state of trance, I mean try focusing on something really hard and your body produces a huge amount of beta waves, aka stress. All of that is bullshit, but my horrible childhood did leave me with the "gift" to space out pretty quickly, so I learned it pretty fast without really knowing what it was at first.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why can't George Washington sit up straight? He's dead.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what did blonde say to the square? ur a square which is comprised of four equal sides and always have four lines of symmetry.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do you call 1,000 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A horrible boating accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why are black people afraid of white people? They aren't

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Sticks and stones may break my bones, But words can leave deep psychological wounds that may never heal.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

a boy with asperges asked me a question today he asked me again and again because he has asperges

thumb_up thumb_down +7

what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby wearing a clown suit.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What is white And taste like sheep A sheep

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Guy- Wanna hear a joke about my dick? Nah, it's too long. Girl- Wanna hear a joke about my vagina? Nah, you'll never get it.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

One dog says to the other dog "Nice day, isn't it?" The other dog says "You can talk!?"

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Alex Gedrose.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you get someone to shut up? Shove a fork down their throat and hang them by thier thumbs

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man walks into a bar and a lady asks "Can I help you?" The man replies "No." and walks out of the bar.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the fat lady hop on one foot,because she lost the other foot to diabetes. ?

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why did the chicken cross the road? he didnt, its just a myth

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops