Roses are red, Violets are blue, I hate rhyming, Vacuum, purple, zebra.

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i read the terms of service when i posted this

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ok everybody to make this more simple we all have to line up alphabetically by height.

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honest politician

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Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

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A horse walks into a bar, prompting the show-jumping judges to subtract points for failing to clear the obstacle.

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so i was F***in this guy the other day with my penis.....shit! i mean i was F***in this girl and i jizzed

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What happened while Thomas crossed the street? He got hit by a truck. What happened to Billy? He was Thomas's Siamese twin, and he too met the same fate.

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Last week, I visited the Virgin Islands. Now it's just called Islands.

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What's worse then failing a test. Being raped by a horse

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Why did the chicken cross the street? Because the light was red and cars had stopped.

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A man burps while sitting at dinner. Everyone suddenly stops eating and stares at him. How does he get out of it? Answer: He says, "Excuse me."

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what is meaningless and not fun at all? that joke

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Why is 6 scared of 7? Because 7 is right behind 7 and he's naked.

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After visiting the dentist, Ke$ha had sixteen cavities because brushing your teeth with bottles of jack causes plaque to build up.

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knock knock who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's alzheimers has progressed to the point where she no longer remembers him.

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Caitlin Jenner has a mangina.

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Why do people on here submit anti-jokes involving children getting raped or killed? Because the people on this website are sadists. =/

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why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead. why;d the banana fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the monkey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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What is lazy? My balls. All they do is hang.

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What's the difference between a watermelon and a baby? One is fun to smash with a sledgehammer. The other is a baby.

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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