Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

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What did the Jewish man say to the Shia faction Muslim man? Even though we have different views on god and religion I value your friendship more than my religous views.

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Ding dong Who's there Electricity

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Why was six afraid of seven? He wasn't. that joke is just a way to convince you that seven is a scary number.

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Two flatfishes swam in a bathtub.

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What did the cat say to the dog? Nothing. Cats can't talk.

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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What do Jim Carrey, Kim Jing-un and Justin Bieber have in common? A penis.

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

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What is the same about a Duck and a Pickle? Neither of them can ride a bike.

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Yo mama so thin, she finally fit into the small - sized dress. She treats this as a great victory, and I am very happy for her.

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What happened when the old woman crossed the road? A completely unrelated archery accident lead to the deaths of several people and thousands of dollars of property damage in another part of the country. The woman crossed without injury.

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what did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? where's my tractor?

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How do u kill a black man You don't or else u will get intouble for murder but u can if u want there r many ways

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Why did the man stop going to his local doctor? Because they put highly poisen liquids in the shots

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Your Mommas so scary slender is afraid of her -_-

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What did the old person find on the internet? Porn.

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A mathematician, a physicist, and an engineer walk into a bar. They order some drinks, sit quietly and stare at their shoes until they've finished their drinks, then go back home and wallow in loneliness, wishing their social skills weren't so abysmal.

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Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

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Why did the girl get her hair cut off? Because she had cancer

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Knock knock! Who's there? A Doorbell salesman.

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What's big and green and if it fell out of a tree it could kill you? A snooker table

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A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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