What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

A man goes to an amusement park. He heads straight for the roller-coaster and gets in line. When he gets to the front, the ride operator informs him that he is too short to ride. "You must be at least 48 inches, sir, you just barely miss the mark, I'm sorry, I can't let you ride." The man is sad, but he doesn't let this little discrepancy ruin his day. He then gets in line for a different ride.

Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

What's the difference between a brick and Ricky? A brick gets laid and has a higher iq

What's green and invisible? Nothing; green and all other colours of the rainbow have wavelengths that occur specifically in the visible range of the electromagnetic spectrum. Therefore any invisible object cannot be green.

How do you tell if an elephant has been in your refrigerator? You find someone you trust and say "an elephant has been in my refrigerator".

What happened to the man that walked into the bar... He walked into the bar

Two Jews walk into a concentration camp. One goes to work and the other one gets gassed.

There once was a man from Nantucket who lost most of his savings by making bad investment decisions.

Why do people poke people on facebook? Because they have no friends and will die alone

the best time to wear a striped sweater is all the time

Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

Whats worse than forgetting your first homework assignment of the new school year? Being hazed on the first day of school to the point where you seriously consider suicide

Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

how come timmy didnt brush his teeth he didnt have a toothbrush

What did the guy say to the mushroom? You're a fungi

A muslim walks into a bomb store. He is a police officer and quickly arrests the owners of the store because of the obvious legal violations.

why did the asian man get straight A's? because he worked hard and studied everyday

Facebook How i met my mother

Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

What do you call a paralyzed man on a fishing boat? Robert

What did the Muslim do when he got on the bus? He realized he was in the wrong place and got on a plane and blew it up.

A woman is on an escalator, which stops, then she cries. Why? The escalator is in a hospital and stops because the power has failed. She was going to visit her husband who is on life support, which has now but out.

A dog got into a gingerbread house. She ate some and brought some to the basement it got on the couch!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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