Your mother is so fat that if she were to fall from a great height she would hit the ground with more force than that of an average sized individual.

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david give me my money back... i will have it next week

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A boy and his father are in a car crash. The father dies and the son is transported to the nearest hospital. Once there, a surgeon is brought in to operate on the boy. The surgeon steps back and says "I can't operate on this boy, I haven't had enough training for such a situation." The hospital calls in another surgeon and they are more qualified for the event. Then the surgeon wakes up and realizes the boy is in critical condition. There is blood drenching his shirt and there is only seconds to operate. Suddenly, the boy wakes up and realizes he has just survived a car crash. Suddenly Leonardo DeCaprio enters with a girl. The world turns on its side and they all wake up to find them selves a victim of Inception. Then the caterpillar wakes up and realizes it has immense mental capacity, even above those of an above-average human. Then I woke up and realized I lost my job. MLIA.

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Fool me once, shame on you Fool me twice, shame on me Fool me 3 times, oh now you're just being a jerk

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BOB:john John:what? BOB:4:59 seconds to get rid of it

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What does two plus two equal? 4

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Why did the girl fall of the swing? I hit her with an axe.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead. Q: Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? A: Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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Which of the following is the biggest? A. 7 B. 17 C. 71 D. Yo mama

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how do you kill a rat skin it and feed it to your child and wait till it shits then when it shits feed it to your dog then when it shits then microwave it and shove the smelly liquid remains up your ass.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

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Roses are red,Violets are blue, I like Tities and so do you

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So Helen Keller walks into a bar...

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Why was the women's underwear red?... Because she got stabbed.

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what's black and has a huge sac? A negro

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Why was the man burying his child? because in france, fishing is only allowed 3 times a day

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How many dead babies can you fit in my truck? Thirty-seven and a half;)

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whats black and doesnt like politics? a black chair

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destiny

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

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whats better than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees whats better than 1 baby nailed to 10 trees? 10 trees nailed to 1 baby

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What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

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How do you make your house smell bad? fart

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What did Jesse's friend say to Jesse? Hello Jesse

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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