Knock Know! Come in!

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Where did Tommy go after the bomb went off? Everywhere

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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Poop swing

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What did the farmer say when he lost his coat? Where's my coat.

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Have you seen the Hobbit? Yes they're taking him to Isengard

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb?

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Why did the boy fall off the swing? Because it broke...

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My dad said that if I post anymore jokes on this website, the will hit my head against the keyboaaskdnaji;nsd;asdnasd;

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do you know what happened to the bravest warrior in the battle who got stabbed in the foot while trying to rescue puppies from a burning building and dying children? well he took the children and puppies home, and ate them. then the SWAT came in and killed him. so yeah... oh... suck my a s s barf

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A woman is in a terrible car crash. The husband comes in, runs to the doctor and he says "Doctor! My wife...is she going to make it?" The doctor turns and says "your wife will survive, but she's experienced heavy brain trauma. She will never walk again. You'll have to bathe her, feed her, change her diapers, and cater to her every need." The husband starts crying and says "oh my God that's terrible! Are you serious?" The doctor replies "Yes."

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Whats worse than a dead baby? Two dead babys.

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What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Why is a man like a packet of cards? Both are organic.

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We can consider a wind turbine as a great ventilator that produces heat.

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Why did the christian go into the church? To pray.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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There was a boy named Johnson. He was a happy boy who had a mother and father who loved. One day he didn't do his homework

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How many dead jews can you fit in a hole? Ask hitler.

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Women's Rights.

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When is a door not a door? When it's a pair of titties!

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A man walks into a bar and orders 6 shots, "Long day?", the bartender asks. "Yeah", the man replies, then he goes home and hangs himself

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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