A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

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Snapple Fact #1 -slaves made life easier

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Why did Kelly lose all interest in men? An aneurysm in her brain popped

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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A Girl Who was very close to er grandmother got a text from her mom who was very new to texting, she thought lol meant "Lots Of Love" wel it turns out the Girl's Grandmother Passed away Sunday Morning And the Mom sent the text to the girl saying " Your Grandmother Got hit by a truck and died lol" the Girl Killed Herself that night becasue Of her mom, LESSON LEARNED< LEARN HOW TO TEXT.

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Why couldn't Sally climb up the ladder? Because she was a paraplegic.

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Why did the Grizzly bear refrain from attacking the hiker? It didn't. The hiker was torn to shreds within minutes.

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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Knock Knock. Come in.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second koala fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third koala fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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How do you wake a sleeping bear? Kick it.

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69 is a number not a sex poshion

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Why couldn't the girl swing on the swing set? She had no arms.

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Q:What do you call a black priest? A: A great quality volunteer at a local church.

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Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

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Why did the black guy scream? well, he just saw his friend get shot, and there was blood everywhere.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I like you Get in the van

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You can pick you're friends, you can pick you're nose, but you can't run over a pedestrian.

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A cripple and a Jew walk into a bar. They sit down and begin to discuss all the stigmas that they have faced their entire lives. The conversation goes on for an hour, at which point a black man walks in. Just then, the bar explodes and they all die.

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Why are the Jamaicans in the kitchen? because they are bad men

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Barman says to a horse at the bar ' Are you sad or upset?' Horse says 'No' Barman says 'Well why the long face?' Horse says 'Because I'm a horse'

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What do you call a magic owl? HOODINI only some will get it...

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What dies but was never living? The hopes and dreams of small children.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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