How do you make a toddler run faster? Chase it with a lawnmower.

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One day a man woke up and decided that he was going to do something with his life. He then got a haircut, took a shower and bought a nice new suit. After that he went home and cleaned up his whole house and invited his parents, that were not very close with him, over for dinner.An hour and thirty minutes before his parents got there, he went to the store to pick up some food to prepare for the very important dinner. On the way home he see's a homeless man walking on the side of the road. The man felt bad for him because he was poor so he gave him $10. He then proceeded home to make the dinner. The dinner turned out very well and he went to bed a better man.

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ring ring,Who is? you'r face.you'r face how?you'r but hole face.

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How do you get really high at home? You climb a ladder

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CRY

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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Knock knock Whos there? A rapist. Go away I'm calling the police!! (The rapist then proceeds to break open the door, beat the woman repeatedly with a baseball bat, and then rapes her)

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what's black and has a huge sac? A negro

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? A pizza can feed a family of 5

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Why don't aliens eat clowns? Because the paint used on their faces makes the extra terrestrials leery of lead poisoning.

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

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Knock Knock Who's there? The police. Come out with your hands up.

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What's the difference between and Jew and pizza?!?!?! Jews are people and pizza is a food product :D

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I may be ugly, but I'm also dumb.

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Two Jewish men walk into a bar...just kidding it was a gas chamber.

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Why was Johnny so sad His father beat his mother

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Why are there clocks on stoves? Because it is a convenient way to tell the time.

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roses are blue violets are red i messed up so f... this s..t

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What do you call a black man on the moon? An astronaut.

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Difference between African children and a fat boy? nothing, they're always hungry.

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Yo Mama is so dumb, that she scored significantly below average on the SAT's.

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What's red and fun to drink through a bendy straw? Period blood

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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