1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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Why shouldn't you drink and drive? You might spill your beer

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Q: what do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the ocean? A: A very unfortunate individual.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No? Neither have they.

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"Knock knock" "The doors open" "Oh, okay"

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A husband and wife just had a baby, and he came out black.

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Why did the male propagate the female? Because he was drugged. Slyly, this foxy female had slipped the male the date rape drug and a dangerous amount of viagra. During intercourse, the male ripped a gaping hole in the female's stomach and killed her. He woke up confused inside a dead stinking corpse.

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Why did the girl buy the watermelon? To eat it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His wife and children had just been struck by a moving vehicle traveling at approximately 45 miles per hour trying to cross the same road. He ran across the road to comfort his dying wife and two children as they took their final breaths. The chicken was also not really a chicken but a middle-aged man who had recently been laid off his job and diagnosed wiuth an incureable disease.

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An old man, and his daughter are walking down the street. They are having a nice time, until the daughter turns around to see the old man lying on the ground in pain because of the crippling arthritis in his back that has caused him agony and discomfort for years.

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daughter: Mum why do I have a brother mum: He not your real brother dont worry your adopted :) daughter: :'(

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What happened when the Trayvon Martin was shot? The media made a huge deal about it and is now making ridicoulus claims that George Zimmerman is racist, and such claims are infringing on his right to a fair trial, and it's all because Trayvon Martin is black.

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Loner.

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How do you get a chicken to cross the road? Get him in the other side

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What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

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What's the best Anti-Joke ever? I don't know, but it's NOT this one.

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so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

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A: what does hellen keller say to her mom? B: nothing. she cant speak due to her lack of hearing and visualizing

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Knock Knock : F*ck im watching porn...

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? None,it eats plants.

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Mr.Green walks into the class. He is alone with no wife and no kids and suffers from depression. His salary is below average and he can't pay the rent this week so he'll probably get evicted. He has aids. He will die in 2 weeks.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Honey, are you hearing things again? Nobody knocked on the door... Honey-are-you-hearing-things-again-nobody-knocked-on-the-door who? ...

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What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Well i would imagine one of various names for a domesticated animal and she would choose the name based on her likes towards nature or an element of nature, being the educated individual she i would think she may name it base on a person of importance, such as an author or maybe a writer that inspires her.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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