Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Roses are red, violets are blue, some people are gay, and so are you

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the man not want to be a tree? Because he didn't want to.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

A: why did the kid run out of lead B: because his dad broke into his house raped his wife and stoll everything he owned

thumb_up thumb_down +31

So, a bulldozer rolls into a bar, there is no bar now.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

If the blue man lives in the blue house, and the yellow man lives in the yellow house, who lives in the white house? The blue man. He has made a good living with a high salary and has enough money to afford two houses.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why wasn't the little boy allowed to get a dog? Because the orphanage he lives at doesn't allow dogs.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What is big white and will kill you if it falls out of a tree in winter A refrigerator

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

why didn't the chicken cross the road? there are no roads in factory farms.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Whats worse than a dumpster full of dead babies? A landfill full of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

What's rape when you shout surprise? The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, especially by the threat or use of violence.

thumb_up thumb_down +31

Do you know what's not right? Left.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why the long face? My face isn't long, it's the same shape as everyone else, retard. I meant why are you sad. I'm not sad.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Q:how do you make a rockstar cry? A: hit him with a breifcase

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Two fish walked into a bar. They died. Because fish can't breathe out of water.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

i was in bed with a girl recently and she said to me 'I want tonight to be magical', so afterwards i disappeared.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Why did the boy get stuck on the toilet? He was Elvis.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Kid: My dad's brother has gone at it with a lot of women. Friend(sarcastically): Geez that's great! When was he born? Kid: '69

thumb_up thumb_down +29

How do you sabotage someone's car? Drop a fridge on it

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Yo mama is so short, she has trouble reaching the top shelf.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

What does a gay horse eat? Low-energy foods should only be fed to horses who are not regularly being worked and participating in high performance. According to the University of Kentucky's College of Agriculture, energy is vital to horses who need to perform their best as it aids many of the body's functions including muscle contraction, respiration and circulation. Only feed a low-energy diet to an idle horse and feed a high-energy diet to an older or sickly horse and to a working horse.

thumb_up thumb_down +29

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops