Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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What time do you go to the dentist? Depends on the appointment.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Why did the Japanese man commit suicide? He was terminally ill and decided it was his time to go

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want to hear a cat joke? i'm just kitten....

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If your riding a jet ski and the wheels fall off Then how many pancakes does it take to Cover a dog house Purple because ice cream doesn't have Any bones

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Why was the cook arrested? Tax evasion.

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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What does a kid with no arms and legs get for christman.... Cancer...

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Why did the poorly educated man get fired from the M&M factory? He changed the M's to W's!

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Arrow in the Knee!

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what did the black guy say to the white guy im black

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Q: What is the scariest thing ever? A: Child Birth.

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? I can cook a pizza.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog Woof.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was baked.

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What's worse than accidentally flooding your bathroom? A Tsunami

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Two people walk into Israel. The first is shot on the spot. The second screams "I only have two pennies in my pocket!" Immediately he is raped by five Jews.

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What did one pare say to the other ... ... WE MAKE A GREAT PARE!!!

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I have Tourette's, PENIS.

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your mama is so stupid stole a free sample

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wounds are red bruises are blue I've got five fingers the middle ones for you

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"I think your a hoe" "Don't worry, I know I am!" "You wanna F*** me?" "Hell Ya!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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