Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but an orange gourd. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

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Excuse me, do you have any gnats? Yes, plenty. Thank you

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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why did Samantha fall off the building? She was hit by a flying fridge dropped by a traffic helicopter.

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What do you get when you cross a vampire and Adolf Hitler? A socially unacceptable and awkward hybrid of two unrelated, technically dead things.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? That is none of your concern as it invades his freedom of privacy.

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How do you make a unicorn? Jab a stick through a pink horse and name it Liam

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Why did the boy drop his icecream cone? Because of the shock of seeing his dead family.

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Why was the iPhone screen cracked? Because it was dropped on a rock.

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Why did the clown fall out of the helicopter?? Gravity

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WEED!

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why did the monkey cross the road? it escaped from a local zoo a block away

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What's the sexiest thing on a farm? It depends on what you find sexy, and your personal perception of a farm.

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heads up!

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Your momma is so old that she might die soon!

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

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Why do canadians have a lower violent crime rate than the U.S? Because they were all raped as children and are now afraid of getting raped again when bathing in prision.

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One day a object is flying overhead in a city and a man in a crowd of pedestrians yells, "It's a bird!" another man yells, "It's a plane!" No one else says anything as they stare at the two men that had become so excited about a possibly seeing a bird or an airplane.

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A white man walks into an elementary school. He was the teacher.

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What's worse than a stain on your carpet? Two stains on your carpet

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Why isn't Abraham Lincoln on Mount Rushmore? Because he doesn't have a helicopter and he's dead.

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Why wasn't Steve paying attention in class? Because he was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops