Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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What's worse than having a zit on your face? Getting blue waffle.. google if you don't know what blue waffle is..

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A blond walks into an electronics store. Then she promptly walks out, as she got the wrong store.

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Q: What do you call 5 white guys sitting on a bench A: The NBA

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On a scale of 1 to Lord Voldemort, how awkward would you say your hugs are?

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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A: Do you like it B: No

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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2 Penises

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hashtags suck balls

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knock knock come in!

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A Russian Irish and American beat up on a Canadian. the only thing wrong with that is i forgot the , in between the races. but on the good side the Canadian was Justin Bieber

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Why can't the children hug his father? Because his father is dead.

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? rockband

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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Why did the whale rape a guy? He wanted to see what would happen.

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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What's funnier than diarrhoea? Cancer What's funnier than cancer? The holocaust

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What's worse than finding another worm in your apple? Another Holocaust

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What happens if an unmovable object gets hit by an unstoppable force? To get to the other side.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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