Why cant women drive? Actually, they can

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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What do you get when you mix a burrito and an earthworm? Diaherea

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What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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What's funnier than 1 dead baby? Anything

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When life gives you lemons.............. take them free stuff is awesome.

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What did your mom make me for Christmas... ...An apple pie because she is a very nice lady

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Knock knock Who's there? Derek the crazy man in the village and I have come to shoot you.

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-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

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When is a clown happy? At a child's birthday party.

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A local police officer pulls up to tell you something. Listen carefully: Three zebras have been spotted crossing the Mexican border. He goes into his truck, pulls out a can of marbles, peanut butter, seven velcro straps and a rhino horn covered in glitter. Your mission is simple: Kill the zebras using your equipment. You will be rewarded if you have enough peanut butter to make a sandwich after. Go now... Get it done.

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Where do you find a dog? At a pet store.

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why do fat people eat so much? who cares

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who let out the chicken?!?

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How do you stop a bus ? Put 3 small children in front of it Whats sad about 3 children who died in a bus crash ? They were my kids. How do you know if you're blind ? You run in to a wall

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Person 1: Ask me if i'm a tree. Person 2: Are you a tree? Person 1: No.

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Why don't you ever stick your hand into the bottom of the jelly bean jar? Cuz' the black ones will steal your watch

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What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

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Why didn't the black guy get paid for doing work hard at labor? it was the year of 1860!!

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Q: What's DNA? A: The National Dyslexic Assosiation.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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(SAY KATCHUP AND LICKER AFTER EVERY SENTENCE) FOR BREAKFEAST I HAD (KATCHUP AND LICKER) FOR LUNCH I HAD I SEE MY GIRL FRIEND AT THE MALL SO I (KATCH UP AND LICK HER

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What do you call a fish with no fins? Dead.

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Whats white and blue and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a fridge in a denim jacket :D

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops