What do you get when you have 5 Russians, a few 8 year olds, and guns? A kidnapping

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if life gives you the back.. TOUCH HER ASS

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I once went to a Haitian party, yea.. The DJ really brought the house down.

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What did the jewish boy get for Christmas? Nothing.

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Why did the Jew post a free link on his Facebook wall? Because it is funny and he hoped his friends would like it.

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a blond and a brunet jump of a bridge who hits the ground first ....... the brunet because the blond has to ask for directions

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Knock Knock Who's there? Immigration. You're headed back to mexico.

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'Knock Knock' "Who's there?" 'Nobody. Your schizophrenia has become so bad you can barely make it through a normal day without emotionally collapsing. Your social life has dissolved into a world of fear, and your personal relationships have crumbled away before your eyes. Major depression and anxiety are eating you away. You have nothing left.'

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Yeah, me too. The car just ran straight through the stoplight and it was all over...

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A: Knock Knock B: Come in A: Come in Who B: Your Mum...

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An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

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Where did the AIDS victim go on vacation? To the hospital.

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Q: How did the black man own the Lamborgini? A: He was 2 Chainz.

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Optimist: The glass is half full. Pessimist: The glass is half empty. Realist: Find something better to do than talk about a glass.

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Yeah i'm into fitness, Fitness whole pizza in my mouth.

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A guy walks into a bar, orders a drink, and nothing interesting happens.

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A man walks into a bar and the bartender asks "what will you have". The man says "Friendship" and bursts out crying. At this point he is making a scene and security will have too be called.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why do jews get their foreskin cut off? Because they're jewish.

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I've been hearing a lot of Jew jokes lately, Anne Frankly I'm sick off it.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? You. You who? You should be drug out into the street and shot. Whoever you are, I will find you.

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I got a new jacket. The jacket had real cotton inside the sleeves. The next day my new jacket was gone, but the one i bought yesterday wasn't.

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When life gives you lemons, you go to a therapist and seek help because your dementia has progressed to the point that you are seeing and feeling illusions.

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There was once a guy who was so crazy...he was sectioned.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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