wHY DIDN'T THE HORSE FINISH COLLEGE? HIS GRANT RAN OUT AN HE COULDN'T GET ANOTHER STUDENT LOAN.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What happen when a plane crash? Everyone on it died...

thumb_up thumb_down -12

People who find just saying 69 is the funniest thing ever.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What would Walt Disney be if he were still alive today? Still anti-semetic

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the little kid fall down? He was pushed

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the bartender say to the three-legged Irishman? What can I get you?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A baby walks into a bar. The bartender looks at him and says, "what'll ya have, Sport?" The baby's family runs in with a video camera screaming for joy over his first steps.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why do black people eat watermelon? Because it taste good.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

I think I am done here friend, it always comes to this, it has always been easier for me to repair whatever is wrong with others and get my kicks out of that, as I know I can and will repair everything wrong with myself, but its hard as hell, I mean I never give up, ever. But that does not change the fact that I am broken, and that simply deciding that I am not, is far from enough, its a choice indeed, but its like deciding to constantly walk trough hell, and sometimes that hell is also called living, that too is always a choice, And believe me, I would never quit, I guess that if this hell I struggle trough has so many nice things in it, it just feels like hell at times. I mean the main motivation behind my ability to help others, has always been searching for answers low and high, and when what I have learned trough life helps others, but barely scratches the surface of the armor I am confined within, I lose hope, do you believe that my desire to help humanity grow, derived from my own incompetence at curing myself?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

hey im leon and i love the chuckie

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did Jesus say to the giraffe? Good day to you sir.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Why do homeless people smell bad? A: Because they live on the street and they dont take showers it's very sad sometimes.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A: What did the Orange say to the Mango? B: Sup Hommie?! A: Wtf.... (awkwardly walks away)

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How do you get a clown off a swing? Hit him with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the dinosaur say to the centipede? It's funny cause the dinosaur is big and the centipede is small.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Patient: Doctor, it hurts when I run, I might have arthritis. Doctor: Let me check.... 5 minutes later... Doctor: It turs out you have 3 bullets in your legs. Patient: Ohhh, I get it now.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do a blonde and a door knob have in common? Everybody gets a turn

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock whose there nobody you have no friends remember

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the Pope say to the homosexual couple? Welcome to the community.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What is your bill about? Clinton

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red orchids are black I like you best when you lye on your back

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops