April showers bring May flowers! And what do May flowers bring? Bees. Lots and lots of bees.

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Three guys at the beach decided to bet on who could swim the farthest. The first guy, could not swim so he lost. The second guy got a cramp right away. The third one swam far away into the distance, and was not seen or heard on for days... Three weeks later his corpse was found floating by the shore. The other two died out of guilt.

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Why did Princess Diana die? Because she deserved it!

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Two polar bears are sitting in a bathtub. The first one says, "Pass the soap." "No soap, radio," replies the second one. "Oh, you want me to turn on the shower radio?" "Yeah, it's too quiet in here. I could use some tunes." The first polar bear turns on the radio. "Now pass me the soap, please," he says. The second bear passes him the soap, he washes his face and neck, and then they both get out and towel off. The second bear switches off the radio before they leave the bathroom.

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Hey do you want to hear the joke about my d**k?? I cant tell it because it's to long

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three black teenagers went to the cinema to watch twilight

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What did the kitten say to the ant? Nothing, it was dead. - Driiiftz

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“Knock knock” “Who's there?” “Jesus” “Jesu.............wait, REALY?” “No,Jesus is currently "dead".”

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Q: Knock, Knock A: To get to the other side.

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Where does someone who has lost his arm, has a bleeding head, is mentally ill, has strep throat, and lung cancer go? Too late, they died.

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Yesterday, my friend said I should facebook him. So I slammed a book into his face.

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Five little monkeys jumping on the bed One fell off and bumped his head Mama called the doctor and the doctor said "There is no cure for the monkeys in your head"

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Jesus walks into a church only to be touched inappropriately.

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wht does a blonde do with a box of crayons? eat a taco.

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How do you drown a fish? You can't , it is physically Impossible to drown a fish. because they have gills, so they are able to breathe underwater.

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what is the difference between jelly and jam? jelly is smoother where jam has chunks of fruit in it...... and i cant jelly my penis down your throat

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What did the foreigners do to pass time? They blew up the twin towers.

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A homeless man begged and begged for a dollar to buy something. A man finally gave him his dollar. What did the hobo buy? Nothing he walked into 711 and then got shot.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? He didn't, the farm this chicken was on had fences bordering it to avoid this very situation.

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If it looks like a chicken and acts like a chicken, its most likely not a deadly crab running towards you with a knife that has rabies and is afraid of towels.

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What's worse than a completely overused anti-joke punchline? The Holocaust.

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A man is talking with his friend when suddenly he picks up a banana. He starts talking with the banana, and after a while of conversing the man sadly puts down his banana and says to his friend, "I'm sorry but your son has just died in a horrible accident."

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roses are red violets are blue I hear a bus...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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