How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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How do you make a baby stop crying? Make it smell its own diaper then, drown it in its own tears.

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Why did the chicken go down the road? He was in a KFC truck and was headed to his death...

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Why did the pineapple cry? It didn't, because it's a pineapple.

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What's the difference between a baby and hot dog? I don't put ketchup on my hot dog when I eat it.

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Fucked thinking zero out of sub level -1 I hate Black Mexican Jews Born in China! But that does not make me a racist! I insist I am not a racist, there exists only two of them and they are both assholes... ...Or is that racist? :S NeroMetal: The ONLY Moralman aka the most pointless man in history not the "leader of Neronist whatever fuck I raped and killed that Faqq0t murderer, no fucking "Church Of Nero" There is no code embedded here... ...Or is that racist?:S

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Roses are gray Violets are gray ROFL I'm a dog

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A man walks into his local store, he gets a basket and get a tin of beans, an apple, some kitchen rolls a bag of potatoes and an 8 pack of sausages. He walks to the checkout and the lady working asks him ''Are you single?'' He replies ''Yes, i am actually, how did you know?'' The lady then says ''Because your Ugly as Sin''

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A ninja walked into a dojo and was kindly greeted by his master.

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An Asian, a white man and a black man were running in a race. The Asian won and the black man came second due to his lack of training and motivation over the past couple of months.

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Person 1: *sneeze Person 2: bless you Person 1: I'm jewish. They never spoke again.

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Q: What's multicoloured and spins around while screaming in agony? A: A clown in a washing machine.

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Why couldn't the baker get a new car? Because he lived in a recession and nobody was buying his cakes.

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An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says "what is this, some kind of joke?!"

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What do you call a deer with no eye? NO IDEAR!

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You are pretty bad emulations, first of all you should all swear and cuss a lot, that way you never get green thumbs and you all get minimal attention (negative attention) from people whose messages do not concern. I mean come on, if you are all different, you gotta admit that you are all good at typing like the very same person, its just that, none of them are good at sounding as the guy they are trying to emulate.

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Women's professional sports

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Why did the little boy fall asleep? His parent pulled the plug.

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Your momma so stupid, she dropped out of school at a young age of 12.

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

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I'm a little teapot, short and stout. Here is my handle, here is my spout. When I get all steamed up here me shout: Absolutely nothing because I'm a teapot you maniacal psychopath.

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Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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