A new born baby is left alone in his crib after a long day of playing, He gets taken out of his crib for his first meal with his grandparents, he is excited, His grandparents come in and after the usual praising of the child they sit down for dinner, They are having chicken, His mother puts the spoon to his mouth, He chews it and swallows it, It gets stuck in his throat and he suffocates and dies.

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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You know whats better than 24? 25

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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I used to be an Adventurer like you, but then i took and arrow to the Elbow.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs and an eyepatch? names...

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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How do you get a ninja to do a backflip? Ask him nicely.

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8===D

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Roses Are Blue I Have A Gun And Ill Sout You!

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Jimmy clenches his fist, a crack his heard. Jimmy begins to cry knowing his arthritis has gotten worse.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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Why did the man have no friends? He mudered and ate someone in '86 and is rotting in prison.

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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