What did the dying mother give her newborn child? AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Did you hear about the cannibal who ate the Olympic record sprinter? He's in prison for first-degree murder & crimes against humanity.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

brittney griner

thumb_up thumb_down -5

These are some questions you should never ask on a first date: When you wipe do you throw your toilet tissue in the toilet or on a trash can? Do you smell your hands after you wipe? Do you you ever look down when you take a dump and see it come out? Have you ever picked your butt and then picked your nose with the same finger?

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How did Moses make his tea? He steeped the tea lives for around 5 minutes in hot water.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

no pun intended

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red. Violets are red. Sunflowers are red. My garden is on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red Violets are blue if you think this is funny then your a jew!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

This is a story of Bobbie He was fat so he got bullied at school he did not have any friends. He ate a lot and watched the television. He was called names such as big, fat, an idiot, clumsy. But he begun to realise that if he was smart, he could become rich. So he studied hard and hard, but he did not become better at it. So he thought I want to succeed in sports, so he began exercising and was on a strict diet, but nothing changed. He was still fat and unfit. Then one day he knew that he couldn't succeed. So he asked God, what is the purpose of me living, why can't I have something, maybe a talent. God replied I'm sorry but I can't give you a talent. You have to figure it out by yourself. Then Bobbie knew what his talent was. So the following morning Bobbie went to www.anti-joke.com and began writing jokes. Octopus. Bye

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

thumb_up thumb_down -5

YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Bill and John are talking about types of cheese. The conversation drags on a bit and slowly changes topic. Bill says "I bet you I can bungy jump off a bridge". John chuckles before replying "I bet you can't". They go and find a bridge and Bill puts on his harness and ties himself to the side of the bridge. He throws himself off the edge and falls through the air screaming at the top of his voice. John cuts the bungy cord and Bill dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the black guy in jail He was a jail guard

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A: Who are you? B: A random guy who walked into your house A: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting your name.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man with a badly injured arm is sitting in a hospital. He says, "Doctor, when my arm heals, will I be able to play the violin?" The doctor says, "With proper medical attention and rest, yes, you will be able to." The man says, "That's great! Before I was hurt, I really enjoyed playing the violin."

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck would chuck wood? The etymology of the name woodchuck is unrelated to wood or chucking. It stems from an Algonquian (possibly Narragansett) name for the animal, wuchak. The similarity between the words has led to the common tongue-twister that you have just stated.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

If you're havin' girl problems I feel bad for you son, your mother and I once had those problems but we got through it.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

4 gay guys walk into a bar but there is only one bar stool, where do they sit? They go to a different bar

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What's that white, sticky stuff on your mom? A: Glue

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do u make a hockey player cry You Kill his entire family

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops