What's worse than finding a worm in your apple ? Finding an apple in your worm !!! ... Wait, what ?

A deaf man walks into a bar. Minutes later, cops come in and arrests the poor man for not paying his bill while the deaf man sits at the bar calmly drinks his beer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was in a van headed to the slaughterhouse.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimer's Roses are red...

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no hands.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was an avocado

What is the Question to Life, the Universe, and Everything? 43 - 1 = ?

How do you get a tower to move? Hit it with a plane.

what did the dead man say to the other dead man ...nothing he's dead.

Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

Person 1:why did the person fart Person 2: wh.... Person 1:shut up I'm not interested any more! Btw person 2 got interrupted

Why was the girl sad on her Birthday? She found out she was adopted.

ronald wants to join a gym, they tell him to lose 20 pounds before coming back or else.....

Why was the man so hungry? Because he hadn't eaten in days.

What did the parakeet say to the grapefruit? Nothing. Parakeets can't speak.

why did the blonde get caught shop lifting? she wasnt a very good theif

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What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? Given the unlikely circumstance in which an elephant actually does sit on your fence, it is equally unlikely said elephant would be able to do so unseen by witnesses, of whom you may ask what time the event occurred. Assuming your witness thought to look at the time befor calling animal control.

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Why did Greg move to the Lake District? Because his dog died and the family is in mourning.

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After going at it for several minutes, the teenager, with a big grin in his face, finally busted a nut during Thanksgiving dinner and was able to remove the walnut from its shell and enjoy it.

Why can't black people be in a talent show? Because they'll steal the show.

Why didn't Lucas want to go down the slide? He was scared.