Roses are red. Violets are red. I have a gun. What did i do?

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So I'm at the office and I tell this guy, "Hey can you pass me the stapler. But when you pass it over, make sure there are staples in it 'cause if not, I can't staple anything."

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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knock knock Who's there? Someone who wants to save you from the shitty dinner your lazy wife made.

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What's the square root of 69 Jimmy? Square root of 69 is 8 something right? Cus I've been trying to work it out oh. Jimmy! It's 8.306623863 >.

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There were 2 drunk men. Man 1:im planning to buy the world. man 2:you cant. man 1:why. man 2: cause im not gonna sell it.

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A white man, a black man, and a mexican are stranded on an island. They all died.

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

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What do you call a black man that flies a plane? -A pilot

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a man walked into a bar....

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Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

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What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting brutally raped in the anus by the Dark Lord Satan.

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Why did the black lady pick out a white dress? Because she thought it was a pretty white dress.

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Why did the chiken cross the road? It didn't, J-walking is against the law.

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what happened when steven hawking's date stood him up? he feel down

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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zx

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A nun, a jew, and a black walk into a bar. The bartender says "What is this, a joke?"

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Your mother is so fat, that she was instructed by her doctor to go on a low carbohydrate, high protein diet to reduce the risk of heart disease later in life.

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why did jimmy win the lottery? WAFFLE

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

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What did the passive-aggressive woman do to her husband? She killed him. As it turns out, the slight passive-aggressive behavior she was showing was actually an early warning sign of a dangerous sociopathic mental disorder. The authorities are looking for her as we speak and will soon have her institutionalized.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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