What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Bob: Oh, there was a big surfing competition in Hawaii. Bill: that's really cool. Bob: yeah, there were huge waves up to 53 feet. Bill: Awesome! Bob: Yeah there was a Japanese guy that won. Bill: Wow, that will bring up the spirits of japan. Bob: Yeah, but he got disqualified. Bill: No, how?!?! Bob: he was surfing on his dresser.

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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A man sees another man standing at the edge of a tall bridge looking down. Man: Don't jump! No one wants you to die. You have your whole life to live and I'm sure you will find happiness somewhere. I was once in the same position as you, questioning if god really wanted me on this earth at all. But I decided to make something of myself and now I am a very successful business man. You can do the same if you just put your mind to it and put your troubles behind you. Other man: I was just admiring the view.

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Ask me if I'm a tree? Are you a tree? No.

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Why did the student fail his test? He forget to study for it the night before.

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A duck walks up to a lemonade stand, as asks the man running the stand, "Hey, got any grapes?" The man suffers a heart attack from the shock of a talking duck

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Whats brown and sticky? A stick

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A man walks into a bar. Sup.

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I want some pudding. but I didn't have my meat. how can I have pudding?

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Why did the black man have blood on his hands? He was a surgeon

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Yo mama is so ugly that the devil warships her.

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What do you call a boy with no arms or legs and an eyepatch? names...

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"knock knock" "whos there" "poop" "poop who" "poop in the toilet"

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What did Harry Potters owl say to Harry Potter? delivowe for hawwy potter!

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Knock Knock Who's There? Ted. Oh, Hey Ted.

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Roses are grey, violets are grey, everything is grey, i'm a dog.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Bob Bob who? Your neighbor

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What did Facebook say to Twitter, and twitter to blogg ant blogg to youtube? nothing. They cant talk..

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What time is it when it is time to get a watch? About 4:30, unless its a monday.

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Jimmy clenches his fist, a crack his heard. Jimmy begins to cry knowing his arthritis has gotten worse.

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What happed when the homeless shelter went out of business? -Everyone went hungry and died.

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Why did the black man go through the window of the house? He left his keys inside

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops