sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

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what happened to the guy that got shot in the head? Nothing, it was a water gun.

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Why did the Korean shoot the dog? Unfortunately, the dog was suffering from a severe mental trauma it had sustained when it by got hit by a car. This caused the dog to be extremely aggressive and it ruthlessly attacked a 5-year old girl playing in the street. The Korean who was coming home from a day out hunting in the woods saw the girl and shot the dog from long range to save the girl's life. The man was later thanked by the girl's family.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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what do you call a mexican baptism? a bean dip

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Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

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Q: How many black guys does it take to black top a driveway? A: I can't give you a definitive answer unless I know the area to be covered, the thickness of material to be applied, and the capabilities of each individual working that particular day.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? The farmer was depressed about the low business and farmer's economy, so he poured gasoline all over himself and lit a match. The barn burned down and the chicken was the only survivor.

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Velcro. What a rip off.

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Yo momma is so stupid when she drove to Disney World she saw that said "Disney World Left" so she turned on her turn signal and made a left turn. She promptly arrived at Disney World but realized she had left her wallet at the hotel.

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What happens when you cut down a tree? It falls over.

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what's hotter than my cousin's girlfriend? I don't know. she's remarkably hot. like, one of the hottest people I personally know.

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I treat women like I treat dead bodies. With respect.

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Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall All the king's horses and all the king's men, went and made an omelette.

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WHERE WAS THE DECLARATION OF INDEPENTENTS AT THE BOTTEM!!!

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

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Yo mama so stupid that when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 twice instead

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God has lived since the eternal eternity right? And one day he said let there be light? NO WONDER HE IS SUCH A NEEDY GREEDY EVIL FUCK! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL AFTER AEONS ENDLESS IN TOTAL DARKNESS? Moral: It is time for the prince, to stand up as the emperor, then no one shall doubt the power of the moral man.

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Yo mama so dumb that she got mediocre grades throughout highschool and college which explains her less than desirable financial situation

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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Why don't men have menstruation? -Because it sucks

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Why was the black man in the hotel so upset? I shit on his chest.

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Tunechi

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A: Hi I am a Mormon B: I know I'm one of your wifes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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