Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Where's my tractor?

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In a tangential universe Crispin Glover is the head of scientology

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What do you call a dead man in a ditch? Phil.

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I now pronounce you man and lion. You may now kiss the pride.

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What did the T Rex say to the pterodactyl? ROIRWR!!!

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What do you call a black person driving a plane? A pilot, because you dont want to call him anything racist i mean he is driving you up 25,000 ft in the air and the last thing you want is for him to get mad and decide to do something rational, God, you racists.

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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What's the best way to cross the road? Ideally with your feet and legs because disabled people usually don't recommend their unfortunate state of affairs. However there are other alternatives which may or may not be better than common or garden walking, such as crane hire - crossing in a crane bucket in a safe spot; chauffer driven limos, which don't do the straight, direct route, generally; and being carried on a replica of Cleopatra's carry couch (but with modern suspension, unless you prefer the up and down motion).

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

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Roses are red Violets are blue, I am sorry... But you have terminal cancer and are probably going to die in about 3 months

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XD, I know I noticed myself, I was like "why the fuck did I post that shit?" Rellez XD okay sistah, I think I am just gonna get some sleep now, but Nero, is not Justin Bibble the first one?

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A man who was not blind, but could not see, walks around a metal bar, and proceeds to the bar, where he walks into the door without opening it first

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whats long, black, and smells like shit? a big turd

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So everything, the chat we had before was all you know, a game so I would call you? I am not sleepy but I can wait until you can confirm everything.

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Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

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A mute man writes a joke that would only be funny to blind people.

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your mumma so fat she ate a horse and she still had room for dinner

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What was the black guy doing in Mississippi? Just hanging around.

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was simply tired of being mocked and judged by society.

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"What would you do if i gave you a million dollars?" "I would scream and jump up and down? Are you really gonna give me a million dollars?" "No i just wanted to see what you would have said, that's all"

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Why did the all black baseball team beat the all white baseball team? Because the black team scored more runs than the white team.

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A man looks both ways before crossing the street. He gets hit by an airplane.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops