Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words "blind," "deaf," "saw," "heard" and "herd." http://gpsphone-tracker.com/

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What's big, white, and can't climb a tree? A refrigerator

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, didn't you read the sign on the front door? It says, "People with suits on will not be served." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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Why did the man walk into the grocery store? Because he had run out of peanut butter

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Why the USA support the 'Kony 2012'? For Oil

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Justin Bieber.

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i stole a monkey from a man in a yellow hat his name is george now his name is i hate you

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What did the wife say to the husband? I'm a man.

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The man asks the blind man "where ya going"b The Blind man replies "i dont know".

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Q: you know whats a good movie? A: twilight.

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What happened the homeless guy's home? A meteor fell on it.

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Sammi suck kyles chode

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Slow and steady wins the race, But only in some cases. Mostly never.

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Nickleback.

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What's more disturbing than finding an apple in your worm? The fact that you're eating a worm.

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knock knock who's there? Orange Oranges cant talk, so seriously, who's there Your mother Ha ha real funny -mother opens door with her key-

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hey how do you turn the Xbox controller off thats easy turn the xbox off.

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I walked up to the door and I asked the door how r u door, and he said, I'm a door!

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Roses are red violets are blue, I more do like pink like the holes are in you.

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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How did little Jimmy survive the 20 story fall? He couldn't he died from the last fall, aren't you paying attention?

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My real life is like my iPad I don't have an iPad.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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