How do you fit four gay men on a bar stool? You build an exceptionally large bar stool

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2 men walked into a bar. the other one ducked.

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OIO

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Why did the blind boy cross the road? Why? The world may never know. He was hit by a bus

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Why did the muslim cross the road? To get to the other Saiid.

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Teacher: "Kenny, what is the biggest mammal on land?" Kenny: "A stranded whale."

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What did Batman say to Robin just before they got in the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile

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What is big, red and eats rocks? A big red rock eater

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A black man and a mexican are falling off a cliff. Who lands first? The police officer.

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Fun Fact: If you lay out all of the veins in your body out, You will die

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What's worse than having two girlfriends at once? Seven. Seven girlfriends.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? No one. No one who? Cares.

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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A boy with cancer decides to go skydiving for his 18th bithday. Unfortunately, his parchute doesn't work & he dies before he hits the ground.

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Knock Knock. - Whose there? ... ... ... ... Damn kids.

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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Continents are large islands.

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Listen, I do not really care anymore, I admit it, I dont mind screwing with people, but if your name is Tifa, my name is lets see... Solid Snake, yeah, but call me big boss. Listen, be honest with me, if you do not trust me, just do not give me a random name, Tifa as in Tifa Lockheart? Final Fantasy? Wake up, girl/guy, you are losing your touch at this.

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A Jew, an atheist, and an Asian man walk into a bar. They all have a drink and then go home to their families

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A man buys a kitten from the store. He gets home, takes it out of its cage, and realizes that it wasn't the kitten he wanted. He then returns to the store and exchanges for the kitten he originally wanted, but then decides to keep both because he is feeling particularly hungry.

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Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

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OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

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What did the man say to the man with no head? You have no head

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Why did the boy cry? His Parents died.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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