An Amish man walks into a bar. He then orders a non-alcoholic beverage due to the temperance practices of the Amish faith.

What did the pear say to the orange? Orange ya gonna say hi? What did the apple say to the banana? Nothing, apples can't talk.

Why did Mary fall off the swing. She had no arms Knock knock Whis there Not Mary.

A: Knock Knock B: ...

When do you call 911? When you need help with do something that you either can't do alone or can't control

What do you do to become a hairdresser? Set Off the fire alarm

A man walks into a bar, he begins drinking and returns home visably drunk. His family disowns him as he is a recovering alchoholic who was three months sober.

Why did the black man get lynched? Because he committed eight murders and six double homicides, and the judge wanted him dead...

Why couldnt jim jump rope? His feet were nailed to the ground.

What did Superman say when he forgot his cape? "Where's my cape?"

How does Hitler tie his shoes? With little Nazis.

A Muslim walks into a public library. 32 people killed in the explosion.

What's invisible and smells like carrots? An invisible carrot!

Why was the woman?

sorry got to poo

whats worse than a repeated antijoke the people that complain about them

A guy walks into a bar and says 'Ow!'

there are two muffins in an oven. one says "its getting hot in here". the other says " oh my gosh!!! its a talking muffin!!!"

A man wearing a chicken t-shirt and holding a pair of dentures walks into the Youtube headquarters, then immediately walks out in fear of getting a copyright strike.

sometimes when im bored i dress in white pour water on the ground and roll around in it and pretend im a papertowel

Roses are red, Violets are blue. I'm wearing pants and I'm hungry

what did the indians give the pilgrims? syphylis

Laugh

Why can't Helen Keller drive? She is blind and deaf, so it wold be near impossible for her to do so without seriously injuring herself or another human being.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...