mom:why oh why are you such an idiotic nuisance? bobby:THATS HOW YOU WANTED ME BORN!!REMEMBER?you asked the doctor to put something in me to make me so stupid i wouldnt remember WHO gave birth to me!!

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Roses are RED , Violets are BLUE , once Valentines day is Over , All ya girls is gonna go back to LOVIN' THE CREW.

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A Homosexual, a platypus, and a rubber spoon walk into a bar...

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You write a really difficult riddle in braille and tell her to solve it.

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So a guy and his monkey walk into a bar I don't remember the rest of the joke but you mom is a whore

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Hum... I am actually a redhead... Which is so strange saying to anyone including myself, I dye it like constantly.

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Q: What did the monkey say to the parrot? A: I like trains so feed me bananas!

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have 2 weeks to live.

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What did casey anthony say when the ruled her as not guilty? "yay"

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What's green and bounces? An envious kangaroo.

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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This will be the least popular anti-joke. Dislike this joke.

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? One is a human profession, and the other is a type of fish.

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What's worse than eating a rotton fruit that makes you sick?? Getting raped by a giant jackalope and then being left for dead in the middle of nowhere and being found by an old pedophile whose van ran out of gas and then running away only to find some water but while you were drinking it you got grabbed and dragged under the water by an octopus who has wandered off many miles from its home and then dying because humans don't have gills

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Q: What happened to the dog when he eat the banana? A: he got raped by a monkey...

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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How is a raven like a writing desk? It isn't.

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A grasshopper hops into a bar and orders a drink. "Hey! We have a drink named after you!" exclaims the bartender. "You have a Melanoplus Differentialis?" asks the grasshopper. "Yes."

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A lawyer gets admitted to a bar.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Meals on wheels - eat up!

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What's white, warm, and dangerous? Cum.

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Where do you send a Jew with ADD? A concentration camp.

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why did the kid get a bad grade he didnt study

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whats worse than getting raped by your mom getrting raped by a giant scorpian

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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