Why was the baseball player happy? He got married.

Does that doctor take insurance? No, the receptionist takes the insurance, the doctor takes your blood... Well actually, the nurse does that.

OOOOPPS /

What do you call an asian that is black? Please tell me, I was asking a question.

Hey did you see Helen Keller's dress? No, she's dead.

Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

Why are you late? Sorry, I would have been here sooner, only I wasn't.

how much does a pirate pay for an earing? $2.50

watch me nae nae

A dinosaur walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender goes home and tells his wife what he saw. His wife leaves him.

Why did sally fall off the swing? Because her grandfather hit her with a wrench.

What's the color of a healthy kidney. I have no f***ing idea.

racism...deal with it!

A- knock knock B- whose there? A- Chuck Norris B- chuck norris who? A- are you retarded?

Patient: "Doctor I think I might be a homosexual." Doctor: "How can you tell?" Patient: "RAAIIINNBOOOOWW!!!"

My Muslim friend is always late to everything. We call him 9/12.

Two people are sitting on a 10th story window sill. They both fall off and die.

Q. why did the plane crash? A. because the pilot was a loaf of bread

What do you get when you fall in love? A guy with a pin to burst your bubble.

Anne frank dies days before camp was liberated.

A duck walks into a bar. The large African American male at table three punches the smaller Asian man at the bar because of a long standing and unfulfilled monetary debt. The Asian man procedes to pull out a concealed knife and repeatedly stab his assailant until he is dead. The duck orders several rounds of whiskey due to the fact that it has recently been fired from its job. Later that night, it took its own life.

what kind of road kill is green and smells like cookies? girl scouts

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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