- Anti Joke

LeBron James hits a game winning three with time running out in the Finals.

Jim: You know whats funny? Bob: What? Jim: The 28th Amendment.

Why did the chicken cross the road? We will never know. Chickens are incapable of communicating with humans and thus the intent of the chicken can only be speculated.

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Obamacare

Why didn't the 12-year old boy eat his birthday cake? He has diabetes and would likely die from the increased spike in insulin.

Women's Rights Movement

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting your balls chewed off by a rottweiler.

A piece of wood walks into a bonfire. Wood can't walk.

djkldfnblfnbofgb

Sometimes I fantasize about having sexual relations with Oprah Winfrey. Sometimes I don't.

Knock knock. This is a no soliciting residence, and I do not open my door for strangers.

Knock Knock. Who's There? Timmy. YOU DON'T KNOW ME!!!!!

Whats worse than getting raped by a monkey The fact that you actually got raped by a monkey

What is the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza doesn't scream in the oven

A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

Why did the chicken cross the road? The cognitive capacity of the chicken is significantly underdeveloped in comparison to humans; thus, comprehending a chicken's motives is impossible. Furthermore, interspecies communication is largely understudied - a mysterious division of science that may never be fully revealed. Therefore, one could safely theorize that no single human could breach this gap ...in communication differences (assuming chickens do, in fact, communicate) and in turn, could not understand the chicken's reasoning behind its choice to cross the road (excluding the possibility of psychic connections between chickens and humans [see 'Dog Whisperer' for a more clear explanation on interspecial psychic relations])That being said, the only scientific and logical way one could understand the aforementioned question is through observation. For example, perhaps food was located on the other side of the road. However, this seems to pose a plethora of other questions: Why was the chicken near a road and not in a coop stocked with adequate food? Was this a wild chicken? Are there wild chickens? Do wild chickens often cross roads? Are wild chickens dangerous? If so, why hasn't there been warnings about dangerous, wild chickens crossing roads? The answer to these questions may never be discovered or explained.

Guy: "Did you hear about the guy who cried wolf?" Friend: "Yes. He was pulling your leg. People cry tears not wolves." Guy: "How did you know he was pulling my leg?" Friend: "If you look down, he's still there pulling it."

Why did the blackjack player gamble every night and day and not eat, sleep, or use the bathroom? To practice for a tournament in which the grand prize was to save his dying grandmother.

what do you call a kid in a wheelchair? . handicapped.

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

spell backwards: taco cat

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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