What's red, blue & green all over?

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Whats worse than losing your keys? Your entire family dying in a preventable house fire.

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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What did the DVD player say when a video tape was put in? You incompatible.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says,"Why the long face?" The horse replies,"I have terminal cancer."

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what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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Why did the Egg turn Purple Because it didnt turn blue.

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Q: Why was the black guy afraid of the chainsaw A: It was cutting his arm off

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what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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Whats worse than seeing your mom naked. Your dad.

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Shark week? More like owl week. Hoo!

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

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knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops