so there are 2 muffins in an oven,1 says to the other "holy s**t its hot in here!" and the other says,"omg!its a talking muffin!"

Why did the man walk into the grocery store? To provide an alibi for his identical twin who was committing 1st degree murder at the time.

what's funnier than hell? heaven

Sex positions (and other related things), never took off... 1. The 96 2. The mission (impossible) position. 3. The Tangoers party (swingers? The fack is that?) 4.Nasal. 5. Bed waltz (requires amazing dancing skills and multitasking, now they just call everything for "bed waltz" to show off) 6.Blind Date take uno (hard to find two blind people and make sure they meet each other and have a good time by themselves). 7. GILFS take one (I mean there could be many hot grandmas out there, but "Guns Id Like For Shooting", was not too popular due accidents)

A man walks into a bar, little did he know it was a gay bar and a few of the regulars were drinking and got overly aggressive the unaware man was then forced into the bathroom and raped by the aggressive gay lovers

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, most chickens are held on farms, but those that do roam free are afraid of automobiles so therefore they wouldn't go near a road at all. But if the chicken was located in a deserted town there would be no traffic, so then it would be able to cross freely over any road there and not get injured or mortally wounded.

What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, it's a grape and therefore unable to speak.

What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

What's blue? The sky.

What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

Q:How come we have a black man in th white house? A: because we elected him

roses are red, violets are blue.

Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

My name is Will I am a real homosexual

Knock-knock. Who's there? Steve. Steve who? I just said it was Steve

Q: What's the difference between a Porsche and a pile of dead babies? A: I don't have a Porsche in my garage. But I don't have a pile of dead babies either. So, yeah.

hey hey apple

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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