Two muffins were in an oven. One muffin said "Wow, its hot in here." The other muffin said "Oh my gosh a talking muffin!" The house burnt down because the oven created a fire.

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???????????? ???????????? ???? ???? ???? ???? ???? A wild EXEGGUTOR appeared!

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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Want to hear a joke? Me too.

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woman..parallel parking

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Marvin, was in the hospital on his death bed. The family called Marvin’s Preacher to be with him in his final moments. As the Preacher stood by the bed, Marvin’s condition seemed to deteriorate, and Marvin motioned for someone to quickly pass him a pen and paper. The Preacher quickly got a pen and paper and lovingly handed it to Marvin. But before he had a chance to read the note, Marvin died. The Preacher feeling that now wasn’t the right time to read it put the note in his jacket pocket. It was at the funeral while speaking that the Preacher suddenly remembered the note. Reaching deep into his pocket the Preacher said “and you know what, I suddenly remembered that right before Marvin died he handed me a note, and knowing Marvin I’m sure it was something inspiring that we can all gain from. With that introduction the Preacher ripped out the note and opened it. The note said “HEY, YOU ARE STANDING ON MY OXYGEN TUBE!”

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What is worse than blue balls? Green Balls.

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What gets louder as it gets smaller? A baby in a trash compactor.

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whats green and has wheels? a green tractor.

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A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his crotch... The bartender calls the police as the man is arrested as piracy an act of robbery or criminal violence.

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What does a blonde's pussy taste like? The same as her brain, cabbage.

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Two nuns in a bath, one nun says to the other "wears the soap?" the other confused replies "I am sure you mean 'where' is the soap" and hands her the soap.

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What's white and yellow with red all over? Vietnam War

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Friends are like potato, when you eat them die.

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why didnt the kid get anything for christmas? santa exploded

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What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

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What's 9 + 10 19

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How many surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb? -Fish

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guy walks into a bar, ouch

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Why was the blind man bored? - He was in a coma

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A man walks into a bar. He says ouch.

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What is worse than a case of the flu? Finding a dead camel on the highway with a half eaten lollipop in its mouth.

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What's faster a hungry black guy or a car? A car

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Whats the similarity between a rabbit and a grape? There both purple, except for the rabbit.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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