Why couldn't little Sally fall asleep? She was on fire.

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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How many pieces of toast can you eat in 1 year? well, it depends on how many pieces you eat in one day, does it count snacks, or full meals of just toast, can you eat even when your not hungary, if you throw up does it still count? If it is 1 piece a day, it would be 365.

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What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? Their middle name.

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Why can't helen keller drive? She never got her permit

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How do you get down from a horse?? You don't... You get down from a duck.

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Why did the kid get a bicycle for his birthday? Cause his father is a respectable parent who loves his child.

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Who is worse then Charlie Sheen? Hitler.

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Why was Why added to why? Because WHy not.

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Doris was putting up Christmas lights when he noticed the bulb's suddenly came on. He was puzzled at first, as he hadn't plugged them in. He climbed down the ladder and found that it was his son, Robby who had plugged the lights in.

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. Incorrect. Violets are violet. DERP!

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i died. new product by steve jobs

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A man comes home after a long days work. It is late at night and he gets in bed with his wife who is already asleep. Later that night he gets up for a glass of water and returns to the bed room to see that his wife doesn't appear to be breathing and calls 911. He then realizes that this isn't his house and he leaves.

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A black man, a jew, and an atheist are on a boat. Suddenly the boat started sinking. A mermaid would only save two of them. who do did she save? Mermaids don't exist. The all died. They were my friends.

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A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

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What do you call an asian woman with one leg? By her name.

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Your Mama's so fat that the Doctor recommended a healthy eating diet, and to exercise daily.

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Roses are red My parents are dead I am Batman.

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What happens when you lose your fish? It dies.

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How do you kill a mocking bird. Shoot it.

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Q: A boy went to 7-11 and bought Coke instead of 7up. Why? A: I don't know

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what do you get when you give an eevee a french stone? Napoleon!!!

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Why couldn't Mike answer the phone on time? On his way to the phone he was shot and killed.

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What would you do for a klondike bar? Pay the manufacturers suggested retail price.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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